The Words That Choke Me Daily

No Name by Debra Bergquist
October 4th, 2009


Depression creeps into my soul,
words that were never said make me choke.
The words that hang on my tongue feel like a thousand pounds.
Still, you aren't here.
My eyes cry desperately for tears that still haven't flowed.
You are still not the person I want you to be.
I wait and wait,
when will you stop this nonsense?
You act like you care,
then you act like you don't.
Would you make up your mind?
My hands reach out for you,
but you keep pushing me away.
I try to love you like you deserve,
but what do I deserve?
Don't I deserve some sort of comfort?
Some sort of peace that I can grasp with my fingers.
I feel like I should have what you had.
You had her.
You had your world.
I haven't had anything except a broken heart and twisted mind.
You aren't the same man.
She broke you.
She made you different.
You may not see this,
But I do.
I haven't been able to look into your eyes in so long,
but I know she broke you.
I struggle with the right words to say to you,
yet they come out so wrong,
so twisted.
Please try to listen to what I am saying.
Try to grasp the feelings I try so hard to hide.
You are my only exception.